Its impossible to defeat a person who never give up!

Dear Bloggie,

I am feeling weird and confused. :(

I will be having SPM this year. I am aiming for straight A's. I know i can do it. But i am afraid. I am really afraid. What if i cant get straight A's? I will let my family down. I must set a role modal for my brother and sister. I must make my parent proud. I cant afford to lose, I cant afford to not get straight A's. I must get straight A's due to plenty of reasons. What if i cant? 

I have lots of dreams. I wanna go to Japan to do some short courses. But they are too expensive for me. I wanna go to UK to do my A-level. The tuition fees are too expensive for my dad to pay. (Eventhough i got 50% scholarship) I wanna go to Columbia for some volunteer job. My dad said he will be worried. I wanna do some part time job after SPM. My dad said he prefers me to go for January intake for A-level.

I am tired of putting effort. I need straight A's for SPM to get 100% scholarship for A-level in ATC. Then 3 A's for Alevel so that I can get another 100% scholarship for my first year degree. I am doing 3 subjects in a year time. Of course i know i can do it. I have no doubt in that. Its just that, I am tired. I wanna relax. Spm is taking my life away. 

My family is not poor, but not rich either. I just don't wanna burden my parent anymore. They have paid so much for me to study in a Private High School. I must not burden them anymore. To let me study in such an expensive school, my younger brother is force to study in some Chinese independent school. I must not waste my parent's money anymore. The money they have should be used on my brother's education.

Life has too much regrets. But still, I am looking forward to my future! Eventhough i am tired of putting effort, I will still do my best so that my life has NO regrets! So do you! :D SPM, I will definitely take you down! Bang Bang! :D I will not be defeated! So ppl, DONT GIVE UP! Do ur best! ^^

P.S: Leave a comment if you are facing any troubles or problems. I might not be able to help you a lot i do believe that writing it down will definitely make you feel better. (: I can't promise to solve your problems but I can promise... You won't have to face them alone.

Yvonne